I can’t tell you how many conversations I’ve had with kids (because I’m the one they get sent to) where that works… and it works because it’s true.

The other thing about confounding their expectations is that they will take any moment to try to put you back in that box of the other nine. One of my favorite moments then is to ask them to take a look at the dynamic. “Am I yelling right now?” “Is anyone talking about some kind of bad ‘or else?’ or are we talking right now?” The great thing is that it’s win-win. If you aren’t doing what you think you’re doing, they’ll tell you. If you are doing what you think you’re doing, it’s another one of the moments where you’ve forced them to admit that you’ve confounded their expectations.

I don’t mind that some of our most at-risk kids ask to get sent to the principal’s office, not because they think I’ll let them off the hook, but because I’ll listen. I’ll call them on their behavior — which is what happens when you’ve got that trust built up. And they know I’m going to back up my teachers. But they also know I’m going to give them my time so that they can see where I’m coming from, where the teachers are coming from… and how they can learn to navigate that world. That only happens after you’ve made them realize that you see them for real, and you aren’t going to just give them what they want at first — which is to give them an excuse to give up.

Great post.

I’ll withhold further comment until the next video comes out…

However, last semester was anomaly for me. I had the most difficult class in my 6 years as a teacher. My strategy worked for most of the students. But as you said, many teacher don’t like the difficult students which caused them to miss my class due to suspensions and ISS. which can be the kiss of death as far as understanding. In a class of 31 students I never had more than 25 present at one time and it was a rotating roster. Never the same kids absent or present.