The commenters saw right through me with this one.

I wish there was some way to tally up the total scores for individual voters. I’d love to pass out some “Psuedocontext Pro” badges.

Beautiful. Added to the post.

Sure thing.

Yikes. Why???

It’s also really impressive that you have some device that measure your speed in meters per minute. Does anyone use that unit for anything?

This is also one where, even if you wanted to answer that question, no one would do it using an algebraic model. Because you only have ten minute increments to work with, a table of values will get you there much faster and easier.

Joshua, you are completely correct. The pictures are not there to make the math.

First, textbook writers have quotas to fill: equal numbers of blacks, latinos, whites, asians. Then equal numbers of women and men, boys and girls. Don’t ever show a girl or woman in a “stereotypical” role, so matter how common or natural. There’s more, but you get the gist. You can’t show “elite” things like yacht club regattas.

Second, you need to satisfy the Texas groups that comb through textbooks for any mention of white or Christians in a negative light, no mention of controversial topics like using exponential functions in a way that suggests evolution, or the age of the earth. Also, the people who want a positive association demand that nothing that even slightly appears negative to anyone in any way be expunged.

Third, you need to include all the current standards and align everything to CCSS — then write a separate version for Florida because they’re special and a version for the 25 groups who just voted themselves out of Common Core and then you need to look into a separate set of state standards for each if the school system is big enough to care about …

Fourth, All the supporting materials, rainy-day material, workbooks, problem sets, tests, special ed materials, teacher’s editions, foreign language editions.

Fifth, this thing has to be marketable. So you water it down even more. Don’t offend. Add more color. Another three chapters for the faster class.

Somewhere around tenth, you get to try to make the problems into RealWorld problems even though most of your grad student writers have never actually worked in the field they’re trying to model.

I don’t blame the textbook companies for putting out pseudocontext, but it is fun to laugh at it and it gives me some great ideas. I just know that I have to read the MTBoS and supplement and fiddle. I glad that my school doesn’t get in the way … but that problem is for another rant.