Which is by far the most insecure, awkward, queasy night of my year. By a long shot. You got anything fun or worth copying? You got any insights on this one? What do these people want from me? I’m pretty sure that once I have a kid of my own and participate a bit from the other side of the lectern, I’ll be a lot better from the teacher’s end of things.

What I did, approximately:

1. had a student take digital photos of students learning, looking delighted in their teacher, etc.
2. cut a slideshow together in iPhoto (set it to the opening of “Pitter Patter Goes My Heart” by Broken Social Scene – great track) and
3. played it during the passing period while I
4. greeted parents at the door. I didn’t see a lot of that from other classes around the courtyard.I don’t see a lot of that during the students’ regular passing period, for that matter, which I think is an opportunity missed. 90% of my classroom management takes place outside my classroom, seven minutes before class starts.
5. tossed up an autobiographical slide.
   
6. admitted they’d done more of these than I have. I told them that I had to be perfectly honest, that all of today I’d been trying to figure out what they’re after, what their game is here, so I could play to that.
   • “Do you want to know if I like your kids? I do.”I wouldn’t have even brought it up if it weren’t true. I’ve rarely disliked a kid. My students don’t control me that much. I’m often neutral and task-oriented with some kids. This year, though, I dig all my kids. Almost all of them are funny, which is also great.
   • “Do you want to know if I like my job? I do.”
   • “Do you want to know if I work hard for your kids? I do.”The line between hobby and job has become very gray, I told them.
   • “Do you want to know how this class is any different from other math classes your student has taken?” I told them about the visual math class, about very little homework, about the testing strategy, all while trying not to indict my departmental colleagues.ie. “How other math classes screw this up … ” is an uncharitable way to introduce your assessment strategies, strategies which other math classes totally screw up.

What they did, approximately:

1. told me they had kids older than me.
2. reacted to my attempts at humor with the same nervousness you do your kid at a piano recital, so excited he’s up there, doin’ great, but really nervous he’s gonna blow it, totally choke, burp loudly, drop his pants, or say something inappropriate.
3. reacted all over the place to my homework policies. In one class, a coupla parents expressed what could charitably be described as suspicion and what could accurately be described as hostility. This one deserves some reflection.
4. left. After ten minutes, ten awkward minutes leavened only a little bit by my self-deprecation, they left.

What’s your show look like?

1. On the up side, economies of scale have kicked in pretty fast teaching three sections of Algebra versus two. Energy seems an even trade – 50% more classes depletes me an extra 50% – but it costs me nothing to run my slidedecks again or to print out an extra 25 handouts. That’s nice.
2. On the down side, the fact that I’m here at this dumb coffee shop and have been every day so far, makes me feel like I violated the terms of a contract I made with myself last year.
3. Even farther down the side, I can’t seem to plan an hour to save my life. Which is to say, I’ve underplanned every day this week, which would be inexcusable if not for the fact that …
4. … I’m staying a day or two ahead of myself this year (big assist from slides I made last year). I just click past the next day’s opener, pick up with the next notes, and no one’s the wiser except you, me, and the Internet here.

1. Jumping back into 100% teaching for the first time in over a year (I was 80% last year) after a summer of desk work is fatiguing. No idea how my dear old dads does it after thirtysomething years. My voice is beat. I’m beat.
2. I realize we’re all on best behavior right now but we seem to have positive chemistry – me and each of my five classes. I can work with that.
3. Got a kid in sixth who’s taller than me. Something like six foot ten. Freaking me out.
4. I spaced on the order of my classes and handed a Geometry activity out to an Algebra class. Really dumb. Saved myself but things were looking awkward for a second.
5. Back at this dumb coffee shop planning dumb lessons. I hate to let anyone tell me “I told you so” but it’s possible I won’t be reusing as much content as I thought I would. Remains to be seen.

Last night, not five minutes into a night game called Fugitive, I flew head first into a dry creek bed. My fellow fugitives lit up the scene with their mobile phones.

I was covered in ants, lying face down in a blackberry thicket, not sure if I should’ve been thankful or annoyed it was there. I was pretty sure my arm was broken but, no, after I stripped off my sweat shirt at Urgent Care, the diagnosis was obvious.

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