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How To Be Funny

From my experience, educators just aren’t a funny group. Those who aren’t self-serious exert too much effort, firing off puns, confusing goofiness for wit. It isn’t a bad niche they carve out for themselves and, let’s be honest, on the list of Essential Teaching Virtues, “funny” ranks pretty far down the list.

I only became objectively funny my senior year of high school. I spent every year before that one watching, testing, and failing, my m.o. for every skill I’ve developed since birth. Here, in what’s gotta be one of the most gratuitous / self-congratulatory teaching seminars ever to hit the ‘Tubes, I offer three notes:

  1. Become Indifferent To Your Audience’s Reaction

    By my senior year I had at long last topped out at 6’7”. (2m for anyone outside the US, Liberia, or Burma.) Consequently, I stopped tripping over desks, tripping over my feet, tripping over invisible stuff. I experienced a surge of self-confidence which made me care a little less how my classmates perceived me.

    Nothing kills a joke deader than someone’s desperation for approval. Me, I had to stop growing. However you do it, make sure it doesn’t matter to you if they don’t laugh.

  2. Share Only What Makes You Laugh

    This makes step one a heckuva lot easier ’cause, worst case, you have a good time; best case, someone else has a good time too. It also makes the whole funny thing seem effortless, which is a high priority.

  3. Don’t Cue Your Audience’s Reaction

    Here’s one of the most cloying movie trailers in my recent memory for what I have little doubt is an equally cloying movie: Dan In Real Life.

    The most grating element in a storm of grating elements comes halfway through. Dane Cook’s sister makes a limp joke at the expensive of his illiteracy.

    CUT TO: some other scene, the family bursting into spontaneous laughter, like, whooping laughter, the kind that could set off a chain of embolisms around the table, at something else entirely.

    That joke-laughter cutaway is a truly desperate maneuver. A lot of folks won’t mind it. But those folks will find you amusing no matter what you do. The folks who can darken an audience’s collective mood (talking about Gladwell’s Mavens here) this will drive them up the wall.

    You’re nudging them in the ribs, whispering “geddit?” telling them how to think, feel, and react. This is a buzzkiller and a dealbreaker in what should be an effortless transaction.

    Maybe you don’t have a laugh track but maybe in your mental script you’ve got a line reading “pause for laughter” one which you signal with an involuntary “… um …aha … heh …” and some nervous laughter.

    Rather breeze right by it. Onto the next.

There are a lot of practical, workmanlike applications of humor in the classroom. You get those indifferent kids, sullen and detached, suspicious of any teacher evincing warmth. In these situations, you have to retract.

If you’re a desperate humorist around those kids (the exact opposite of the indifferent joke-teller you oughtta be) they won’t just find you unfunny, they’ll find you alienating.

Instead, you sidle up nearby ’em and carry on an interesting and funny conversation with the kid just past ’em. You drop something witty on the other kid, totally indifferent to the real target here. Resist the temptation to look, but from the corner of your eye, notice the kid chuckling a bit. Strange though it sounds, through your indifferent humor, she has found something completely kindred.

Update: Scott knocks down my entire post with one well-aimed paragraph. Currently blocking his i.p. address.

Kids are like most everyone in that it doesn’t matter how someone tells a joke,but it REALLY matters who tells it. Nobody is going to laugh at something when they think it will put them in the position of looking like a dork. People will only laugh when it makes them seem associated with a person that they consider to be highly admired by others around them… it makes them look like they are in on something that no one else is. In other words, if you read this blog post hoping to learn how to be funny, then you probably shouldn’t try it. Just stick to teaching.

Letting CineMe Lapse

Every week for three years I’d watch a movie in theaters and then post a few hundred words on it to a website, my first home on the Internet, CineMe. Initially I was looking for access to the Online Film Critic Society and all the free tickets, free screeners, and derisive laughter entitled to its membership.

Eventually I saddled up with a different group of online film enthusiasts, kept watching, kept writing about some really good movies and some really awful ones.

It got me writing regularly, an essential precursor to writing well. It made me a better storyteller. The effect of all that research and peer-review has insinuated itself into my teaching in some very weird, very cool ways.

Anyway, since starting teaching, since leaving college, I’ve gone from a movie a week to a few a month to very few at all. I don’t review movies. I blog about teaching. The site comes up for renewal this week and I’m cutting her loose.

It’d be easy for me to get nostalgic here, to feel like I’m putting a knife to a fixture of my college years, fall afternoons spent pulling cheap tickets to UC Davis screenings, dodging a class or two in favor of a matinée downtown (by myself, by design), hitting the Mill Valley Film Festival with Michael K., getting positively wrecked by 25th Hour, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, et cetera.

It’d be easy to feel that way but I’m trying not to. Every interval of my life has been hard. Every interval has been great. I find that the more I indulge nostalgia, the more I romanticize what once was, the more cowardly I become making decisions about what could be.

Required Reading:

Awards Hysteria!

Since the 2007 Edublog Awards went live last night, my e-mail box has been filling up, people wondering where to toss their dy/dan vote.

Some suggested categories:

  • best teacher blog
  • best new blog
  • best educational use of video / visual [link to Graphing Stories helpfully supplied]
  • best new blog
  • best contemporary folk album

Remember: a vote for dy/dan is a vote for yourself. Basically.

This is no small thing.

Universal and Paramount are both releasing screenplays for several films, some currently in theatrical release, some yet-to-be released, presumably as part of their Oscar campaigns for Best Screenplay.

And, man, this is great. Usually, unless you live on the concrete slab between Long Beach and the San Fernando Valley, you can’t track down a script for anything on a new release rack at Blockbuster, much less anything in theaters.

So grab the PDFs. Print a few pages out for any of your students inclined towards film production or professional writing.

‘Cause screenwriting is a very different, very interesting, very constrained formThat last one’s for Dean.. Third-person omniscient, for example, is rare unless you’ve got clout enough to break the rules. Since your audience only has sound and picture to guide them through the story, that’s all you’re allowed to use.

For instance:

No good for screenplays:

Dan Meyer scrawls an opener exercise on the white board. His kids are noisy, still coming down from a Halloween candy high. Dan contemplates the infinite choices that have led him to such a job – some tiny, others even tinier – and figures that fifteen seconds is all he needs to get his car rolling out of the parking lot.

Good for screenplays:

  • INT. HIGH SCHOOL MATH CLASSROOM - DAY
  • DAN MEYER is writing an opener on the board while the class goes steadily crazy behind him. THE CHATTER is unbearable.
  • Dan's writing drifts downward as he writes. He doesn't seem to notice. Or care.
  • He turns and faces the class.
  • DAN
  • Okay.
    (a beat)
    Okay can we start?
  • A crumpled piece of paper smacks him in the face from off screen. His face sags a bit but he doesn't turn in that direction.
  • DAN
  • (to himself as much as the class)
    Really?
  • THE WINDOWS SHAKE.
  • The wing of a Boeing 767 TEARS OFF THE ROOF OF THE CLASS.

End scene, suckahs!

Get ‘Em

From Universal:

From Paramount:

Only film without a screenplay link is PTA’s There Will Be Blood, which is definitely a bummer.